She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
