my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just high enough for therapy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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