I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
