I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
