Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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