i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
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ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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