Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
