I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
