Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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