I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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