were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
