C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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