Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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