Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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