i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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