the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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