kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
