dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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