Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
