my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
