I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Damn victory sex feels great
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
