Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize