Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
