Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize