The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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