Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
