Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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