Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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