they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
