i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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