Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
