I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize