loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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