Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
