I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
