I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
