she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize