so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
