I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
