I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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