in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
