I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
