So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
