you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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