I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
