Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
