Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
