I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
