i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
