Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
