Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
