If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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