Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize