We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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