Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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