im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
