You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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