I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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