i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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