everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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