My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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