brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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