What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
