Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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