I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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